Letters to Landon: Making Me a Momma

My little Landon,

You’re 16 weeks old today and I’m kind of getting to that weird place where I don’t know whether to tell people you’re 16 weeks old or 3 1/2 months. Saying “3 1/2 months” makes you sound so old! I’m hanging onto the last little pieces of that newborn stage, but I can tell you’re like me in the sense that you’re moving right along, far before your Momma thinks you’re ready. I am amazed by you every day, my darling. I don’t know what I expected motherhood to be like, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that it’s better than anything I could have ever imagined. It’s hard. Oh, it’s so hard, and scary too. But it’s the most rewarding, the most exciting, the sweetest, the most wonderful thing I’ve ever had the privilege to do.

There’s not a doubt in my mind that I was made for this. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough, that I wouldn’t know how to love you, that I wouldn’t feel the connection to you that I’d hoped for and expected. But Jesus took care of all that. He’s a Savior who cares about the little details, ya know.

You are the sweetest addition to our little family. You make everything even more fun. Watching your Daddy love you has made me love him even more than I did before, which I didn’t even think was possible. You love to look around and always seem to just “take it all in.” You love music, you smile all the time (the most precious gummy smiles that make my heart melt into a big puddle) and you’re trying to talk all the time. You sleep through the night like a champ (and have been for about 2 months, now). You love to eat, and I’m more proud of successfully breastfeeding you (so far) than I am getting a college degree (haha! but really…). You have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen, just like my Paw’s and you have the sweetest spirit and are so good natured.

You haven’t rolled over yet, and I’m not worried about it. You will when you’re ready, just like you held your head up and started making eye contact when you were ready. I got a little caught up in the beginning worrying about you reaching milestones when you were “supposed to” compared to other babies, but I’ve learned that all babies are different and I have to trust Jesus to grow you up strong and healthy.

I read to you and tell you stories all the time. You love being outside. You love going to church. You seem to recognize people now, and it’s so fun to watch you realize that your hands are connected to you! When we’re out and about and I get ready to feed you a bottle, you smile real big… like you know exactly what it is and get so excited!

Watching you grow and learn and thrive is bringing me so much joy. You seem so big. Where did my little baby go? That 6 pounds and 15 ounces of fragile, squishy baby? I want you to know that no matter what, I’ll love you forever, and always more than the day before.

Thank you so much for making me a Momma.

Love,

Momma

These are some family pictures we took recently on an abandoned farm in South Carolina. It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing, and I can’t wait to go back and take some more when we get the chance!

img_2833img_2803img_2805img_2806img_2807img_2808img_2809img_2810

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s