Count it all joy

Theres a big bulletin board hanging in my kitchen that holds so many memories… both recent and from what seems like a lifetime ago. I’m feeling so thankful for each of these people today- family and friends who feel like family- and for frozen moments in time that we get to remember with them forever ❤️✨

But, I wouldn’t be telling the full truth if I didn’t say that I’m feeling a little sad too. You see, this bulletin board hangs right beside our back door and the sunlight from the window has, slowly, over time, faded the ultrasound pictures I had hanging on it from when Landon and Harper were growing in my belly. I don’t mind that they’ve faded, I have more in baby books and between the crinkled pages of my Bible. But, as I was taking them down and rearranging and making room for new memories to go up on the board, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’ll ever have another ultrasound picture of a sweet little profile. I couldn’t help but remember the sound of Landon and Harper’s heartbeats and think about the hours I spent studying every curve on those little black and white images and praying over the people they’d one day become.

Grief. It hits you when you least expect it. When you stop to do a simple task between unloading the dishwasher and folding loads of laundry. When you haven’t even had time yet today to stop and think about the hurt in your heart. It creeps up quietly and suddenly, you’re thinking more about what you’ve lost than what you’ve been given. I stopped, stood back, and looked at this beautiful reminder of friendship and loyalty and growth and change and the Lord’s faithfulness and provision, and I chose joy. Of course, part of me is still sad. Part of me still has questions that will probably never be answered. But in the midst of it all, I choose joy. And whatever you’re going through today, you can too. Because just look at all we have to be thankful for. Let’s not miss it, friends ❤️😭🙌🏻 He’s a good, good Father.

Count it all joy and let Him carry you through.

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